Stresses...

I wasn't sure what I wanted to say tonight, but stress comes to mind. I get stressed over so many things like money, the kids, scheduling, laundry, and well just your every day life stuff. My momma always says if you're going to worry why pray or why pray if you are going to worry. Well, I have a hard time seeing that God is relieving much of my stresses. My husband is still out of work even though he has applied with several companies and a few acting like they were very interested. He specifically wants to do ministry work and feels that God has placed that on him to do, but the doors just aren't opening up. I can say that God has certainly made sure that we have had food and money to get by on we have not gone with out. Our stresses have certainly decreased some, but the worry of the what if's still linger. I know that God provides and I am even doing a Women of Faith study guide on God's providing and multiplying. I know the story of the lady that owed the debt was told to get bottles to pour her oil into and she ran out of bottles before she did the oil. She had enough to not only sell to be able to pay her debt, but also to support her and her son as well. God has given me with job positions I would not have gone in search of myself. I work with children in an after school program and I love those kids and what I am able to do with them. I have had a few ask me about God and creation. We have been able to talk openly about Heaven and family that has passed. I hope to be doing History lessons this summer and part of that I will include biblical history and how it ties into our American history.  I want to be open and aware of what and where God wants me and I know that I still have a lot of growing spiritually to do. I do want to learn how to listen to Him more and to be more obedient. I am tired of being so stressed out all the time and being full of worry, but sometimes it's to be any different. I know that it stresses my family out when I am stressed and irritated and I really need to learn how to turn more things over to God and leave it with him not try to take it back. I guess it's just easier to say than to DO. God has provided for us and has not allowed us to just fail or fall and I do need to have the faith that he will continue to do so. We are very blessed and I am grateful for all the he gives and provides for us. I just need to work on getting rid of the stresses and giving more of them to Him. I do know that Life is too short and it is something to be enjoyed...so starting tonight I am going to start giving more of the things that worry me to Him and trusting more in Him...

What if???

What if we could go back and redo everything that we have done. What if Jason and I had chosen a different wedding date would my daddy had lived longer? Maybe not because God directed daddy's last days here on Earth. Or like if I would have chosen a different house, would I have Joshua today. If we would have moved somewhere else instead of staying in this town, would we be better off financially. What if I would have been able to have done better at my former job and stayed there for another five years, would I have gotten the promotions? What if I would have made different decisions would I have the trust and faith in God that I have now? I could go through all the what ifs, but what would be the point. I can not live in the past nor do I want to. I know that things would be very different for sure, but I know that God directs our paths and that all things happen for a reason. Am I always happy with where I am or with what my decisions have been, no, but I know that God is control and that I can make better decisions from here on out. I will trust that God is with me and will direct my path. There is a lot of decisions that we make daily are they always the best No, but I can pray about them and ask God to show me what is right. I can not change the past, but I can make my future better and know that God is in control and will be there to get through anything and everything. I am grateful for my husband, our two boys and our home that we have together. Things are perfect by any means, but we have what we need and I know that the next ten years will be very different and prayerfully better.